40th Birthday
A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her 40th birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Sherry? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?"

She said, "I want a divorce."

He replied in shock, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

African Marriage
Young Son: 'Is it true, Dad? I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

Dad: 'That happens in all countries, son.'