Vote For Your Favorite Joke

10 Good Things About The Flu
10. No one wants to come near you.

9. You can legally take sedatives.

8. You realize guests on daytime talk shows have worse lives than you do.

7. You get away with being rude, obnoxious and surly.

6. You can smell like a baboon's butt and nobody complains.

5. You can shlep about the house unwashed and in your housecoat all day.

4. No matter how bad you feel, it's still better than how you felt after last month's tequila 'n' gin party.

3. Star Trek re-runs.

2. Your dog is allowed on the bed.

1. You get to pass the virus on to those you really dislike.

A pastor in Maine skipped services one Sunday...
A pastor in Maine skipped services one Sunday to go bear hunting.Along the trail he turned a corner and collided with a bear. The pastor stumbled, backwards, slipped off the trail, and began tumbling down the mountain, the bear in hot pursuit. Finally the pastor crashed into a bolder, breaking both his legs and sending his rifle flying through the air, just out of his reach. As the bear closed in, the pastor cried out "Lord, I'm sorry for what I have done. Please forgive me and save me! - Lord please make this bear a Christian". Suddenly the bear skipped to a halt at the pastor's feet, fell to it's knees, clasped it's paws together, began to weep and said "God bless this food which I am about to receive!"

Latest Joke Fight Results:

• A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven... was a winner against Be Quiet in Church
• A preacher was completing a temperance sermon... was a winner against An invisible man is here to see you
• Be Quiet in Church was a winner against 45 or 82?
• A staged wedding to bust dealers was a winner against A man and his Alligator
• Baseball heaven was a winner against A DIET QUIZ
• A horrible curse was a winner against An ode to old age
• A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor... was a winner against An Honest Lawyer
• A very interesting fact was a winner against An Internet Christmas
• A guy was driving home one evening... was a winner against A final diagnosis
• A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner... was a winner against An Evil Curse