A man lay sprawled across three entire seats...
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice Sam replied "the balcony."

Business one-liners 08
All I ask is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy.

All inanimate objects can move just enough to get in your way.

All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them. - Walt Disney

All probabilities are really 50%. Either a thing will happen or it won't.

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

All syllogisms have three parts; therefore this is not a syllogism.

All the world is a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

All things being equal, all things are never equal.

All things being equal, fat people use more soap.

All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.

All warranties expire upon payment of invoice.

All work and no play, will make you a manager.

Almost everything in life is easier to get into than to get out of.

Always hire a rich attorney.

Always leave room to add an explanation if it doesn't work out.

Always listen to experts. They'll tell what can't be done and why. Then do it.

Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn!

Always try to stop talking before people stop listening.

Am I good at delegating? You Bet! I always find someone to blame!

Ambiguity is invariant.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.

An executive will always return to work from lunch early if no one takes him.

An error in the premise will appear in the conclusion.

An object at rest will always be in the wrong place.

An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction.

. When the going gets tough, the smart get sneaky.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

When the product is destined to fail, the delivery system will perform perfectly.

When they want it bad (in a rush), they get it bad.

When things are going well, someone will inevitably experiment detrimentally.

An original idea can never emerge from committee in its original form.

An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.

An ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure.

An ounce of rejection is worse than a pound of "sure".

Any argument carried far enough will end up in semantics.