A responsible applicant
Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible." Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every timeanything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

African Marriage
Young Son: 'Is it true, Dad? I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

Dad: 'That happens in all countries, son.'