A New York Lawyer
A New York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates.

Saint Peter asks him "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?"

The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street."

Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true.

Saint Peter said, "Well, that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get you into Heaven."

The Lawyer said, "Wait Wait! There's more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter."

Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified.

Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?"

Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, "Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell."

If Baby Names Were Chosen Based On Parent’s Profession
If Baby Names Were Chosen Based On Parent’s Profession=============================================  Animal trainer’s son: Leo Announcer’s son: Mike Astrologer’s son: Leo Astronomer’s daughter: Star Auto mechanic’s son: Jack Automobile salesman’s daughter: Mercedes Baker’s daughter: Cookie Barber’s son: Harry Beggar’s daughter – Penny Birdwatcher's son: Jay Boxer’s son: Jim Burger joint owner’s daughter: Patty Butcher’s son: Chuck Mechanic’s son: Otto Cartoonist’s son: Drew Cat breeder’s son: Tom Cattle thief’s son: Russell CEO’s son: Rich Chauffeur’s son: Brigham Clothing manufacturer’s daughter: Polly Esther Collection agency executive’s son: Bill College chancellor’s son: Dean Comedian’s son – Josh Commercial Fisherman’s daughter: Annette Computer programmer’s son: Chip Cook’s son: Stu Crocheter’s daughter: Lacey Day-trader’s daughter: Hope Dentist’s son – Payne Doorman’s son: Matt Drapery manufacturer’s sons: Curt and Rod Dressmaker’s son: Taylor Fisherman’s son: Rod Flag-maker’s daughter: Waverly Florist’s son: Bud Fly fisherman’s son: Wade Furniture polisher’s daughter: Buffy Gambler’s daughter: Betty Gambler’s son: Chip Geneticist’s son: Gene Gymnast’s son: Matt Highway Patrolman’s son: Chase Hospital nurse’s son: Ward Hot-dog vendor’s son: Frank Instruction book author: Manuel Iron worker’s son: Rusty Irrigation consultant’s daughter: Brooke Janitor’s son: Dustin Junk yard owner’s son: Rex Justice of the peace’s daughter: Mary Lawyer’s daughter: Sue Lawyer’s son: Will Maid’s son: Dusty Manicurist’s son: Hans Messenger’s son: Harold Meteorologist’s daughters: Haley, Gail, Sunny, Misty Miner’s son: Cole or Steele Minister’s daughter: Faith Minister’s son: Neal Mob Boss’s son: Don Mountaineer’s son: Cliff Movie star’s son: Oscar Museum curator’s son: Art Optician’s daughter – Iris Orchestra leader’s daughter: Viola Orthotic maker’s daughter: Eileen Painter’s sons: Art and Hugh Peace officer’s son: Marshall Plumber’s daughter: Piper Plumber’s sons: John and Lou Porter’s son: Cary Realtor’s son: Homer Researcher’s son: Grant Sheet rocker’s son: Wally Sound stage technician’s son: Mike Steam shovel operator’s son: Doug Tanning salon owner's son: Ray Tennis player’s son: Ace Thief’s son: Rob Tire installer’s son: Jack Trout fisher’s daughter: Brook Undertaker’s sons: Barry and Doug University lecturer’s son: Boris Wire-fencer’s daughter: Barb Woodworker’s daughter: Peg