Sniglets - Words That Should Exist
Words That Should Exist But Don't==================================
Snackmosphere - The 95% air inside bags of potato chips. Ohnosecond - That very short moment in time during which you realize that you have pressed the wrong key and deleted hours, days, or weeks of work. Eiffelites - Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter which direction you lean in, follow suit. Meganegabar - The line you put on a check to prevent someone else from adding "and a million dollars." Frust - The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug. Petrophobic - One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet. Snork - To spew what you're drinking or chewing in a fit of sudden laughter. Cylences - long gaps in a phone conversation that occur because one person is also reading email, IMing or shopping online. Accordianated - Being able to drive and re-fold a road map at the same time. Exhaustipated - Being so tired that when you try to speak, nothing comes out right. Testlosterone - The hormone that prevents men from stopping and asking for directions. Refunable – Something you enjoyed so much you’d do it again. Treeware - Documents made out of paper, as opposed to electronic documents. Disconfect - To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will remove all the germs. Newtrons - The magnetized particles that amazingly hold Fig Newtons together. Prairiedogged - The feeling of helplessness you get when co-workers in neighboring cubicles constantly pop their heads up to ask you stupid questions. Aqualibrium - The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (A) having to suck the nozzle, or (B) squirting themself in the eye/ear. Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible. Elecelleration - The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive. Mallmanac - In a mall, the giant maze with blocks and numbers on it, otherwise known as the "Directory". Hereoglyph - A little stick figure on a mallmanac that tells where you are. Peppier - The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper. Phonesia - The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer. Aeroma - The odor emanating from an exercise room after an aerobics class. Dimp - A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?" Dessertification - The act of eating less than the entire meal, in order to "save room for dessert". Kirby - A Small but repulsive piece of food prominently attached to a person's face or clothing. Zen mail - an email message that arrives with no text in it. Klong - The sudden overwhelming feeling of fear and panic when you feel that everything is going well and you have plenty of time and you suddenly remember there was someplace else VERY important that you are supposed to be RIGHT NOW, and it's nobody's fault but your own that you aren't there. Snee - A sneeze that doesn't completely execute. You feel your nose tingling and you start inhaling, anticipating the forceful thrust of air and saliva that is expected, but it never materializes.
Advice for a Fisherman
One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.
About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family.
"You aren't going to catch many fish that way," said the businessman to the fisherman, "you should be working rather than lying on the beach!"
The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, "And what will my reward be?"
"Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!" was the businessman's answer.
"And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman, still smiling.
The businessman replied, "You will make money and you'll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger catches of fish!"
"And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman again.
The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman's questions. "You can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people to work for you!" he said.
"And then what will my reward be?" repeated the fisherman.
The businessman was getting angry. "Don't you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let all your employees catch fish for you!"
Once again the fisherman asked, "And then what will my reward be?"
The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, "Don't you understand that you can become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You can spend all the rest of your days sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset. You won't have a care in the world!"
The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, "And what do you think I'm doing right now?"