Vote For Your Favorite Joke

Can't chance it!
A guy goes on vacation to the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. Halfway through their trip, the mother-in-law dies.

So the guy goes to an undertaker, who explains that they can ship the body home, but it'll cost $5,000 or they can bury her in the Holy Land for $150.

"We'll ship her home," says the son-in-law.

"Are you sure?" asks the undertaker. "That's an awfully big expense and I can assure you that we do a very nice burial here."

"Look," says the son-in-law, "two thousand years ago they buried a guy here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

A woman reported the disappearance of her husband...
A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer looked at the guy's photograph, questioned her, and then asked if she wanted to give her husband any message if they found him."Yes, please" she replied. "Tell him Mother didn't come after all."

Latest Joke Fight Results:

• Ape Reading List was a winner against A lawyer's dog, running about
• And Jesus said unto his disciples... was a winner against A lawyer's dog, running about
• Can I play the piano once these are off? was a winner against An old occupation
• I tried to be a tailor... was a winner against A serious condition
• A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop... was a winner against A sailor goes to a cementary
• 7 Word Obituary was a winner against A sudden change of mind
• A guy was driving home one evening... was a winner against A Change Of Vows
• A man in the army asks for a pass was a winner against Big Man in a Small Town
• A wife was berating her husband... was a winner against Bribing the Judge
• A Dictionary for Women was a winner against A man lay sprawled across three entire seats...