A man took his wife to the doctors...
A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said"Your wife's mind has completely gone!"To which the man replied "I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!"

A lecture about English
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."