A stolen credit card
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

Blonde State of Mind
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of international capitals.

She proudly said, "Go ahead and quiz me. I know all of them!"

Her friend said, "O.K. then, what's the capital of France?"

The blonde replied, "Oh, that's so easy! F."