Dumb.com >> Jokefight
Vote For Your Favorite Joke

I can't decide!

Business one-liners 61
I knocked several times, but you weren't in. - Opportunity

I once worked as a salesman and was very independent; I took orders from no one.

I think we should really add to the confusion... Let's call in (Insert Your Favorite Group - Engineering/Financial...)

I think...therefore I am confused.

I will get it done when I get it done!

I would give $1000 to be a millionaire.

I've got to stop getting fired like this. People will start to think I'm a drifter. - Lee Iacocca

If a listener nods his head when you're explaining your program, wake him up.

If a man advances confidently in the direction of his dreams to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. - Henry David Thoreau

If a program is useful it will be changed, if it is useless, it will be documented.


A Lesson From Management
A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon."

Alarmed, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago."

Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?"

"Rain."



Latest Joke Fight Results:

  • Bad Japanese economy was a winner against A local United Way office realized that...
  • A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel... was a winner against A horrible curse
  • At The Pearly Gates was a winner against An Amazing Connection
  • A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven... was a winner against A Night at the Asylum
  • Boys and Girls was a winner against Can I take his place?
  • Texting For Seniors was a winner against Baseball heaven
  • Basketball was a winner against Silly Dictionary
  • At the first session of a conversion class... was a winner against A Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane...
  • Buckwheat was a winner against Boys and Girls
  • 10 Things You Never Hear in Church was a winner against A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for...