A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist...
A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist. She walked into his office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely.I don't have any friends, no man will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?""I'm sure I can," the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."

Be Careful When Robbing Lawyers
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The
old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their
money. The gang was very happy to escape.

"It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."

The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers!
We had $100 when we broke in!"