A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven...
A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven,but not at all happy with his accommodations. He complained to St. Peter, who told him that his only recourse was to appeal his assignment. The lawyer immediately advised that he intended to appeal, but was then told that he would be waiting at least three years before his appeal could be heard. The lawyer protested that a three-year wait was unconscionable, but his words fell on deaf ears. The lawyer was then approached by the devil, who told him that he would be able to arrange an appeal to be heard in a few days, if the lawyer was willing to change venue to Hell. The lawyer asked: "Why can appeals be heard so much sooner in Hell?"The devil answered: "We have all of the judges."

A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel...
A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel,and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse."But why?", they asked, as they moved off."Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."