A stolen credit card
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child...
A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child. "Congratulations," said the nurse, "but don't you think this is enough?" The woman replied, "Are you kidding? This is the only vacation I get each year."