After the fall in Garden of Eden...
After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, "What's that?" Adam replied, "Boys, that's where your mother ate us out of house and home."

A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother...
A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says,"Okay, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry."She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle.""That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?""I don't like her."