Legal Troubles
"How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles.

"My dear woman," Darrow replied, "ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that question."

Benefits of the Revival
After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were
discussing the results with one another.

The Methodist minister said, "The revival worked out great
for us! We gained 4 new families."

The Baptist preacher said, "We did better than that! We
gained 6 new families."

The Presbyterian pastor said, "Well, we did even better than
that! We got rid of our 10 biggest trouble makers!"