Bank customer service
"I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance ... she leaned over and pushed me."

A man and his Alligator
A man and his alligator walk into a bar and the man asks, "Does this bar serve lawyers?""Of course we do," replied the bartender."Great," said the man, "I'd like a beer... and give me a lawyer for my gator."