A DIET QUIZ
If you answer "yes" to eight or more of these questions, you may want to consider restricting your future calorie intake:

* Has your neighborhood grocery store ever offered to send for you with a limo?

* After ordering lunch at a fast food drive-through window, has it ever been delivered to your car on a hand truck?

* Within the last month, have you burned out more than two refrigerator bulbs?

* Do people often decide to follow you up on the next elevator?

* Has your fork ever suddenly come up missing?

* Have you ever broken out in a cold sweat when you realized you were more than a mile from the nearest Taco Bell?

* Is there a restraining order against you from the Association of All-You-Can-Eat Restaurants?

* On a recent Caribbean cruise, did the captain order you to stay in the center of the ship?

* Do your picnics in the country involve renting a U-Haul?

* Does the left side of your car seem to bottom out a lot?

* Does your street always seem to have more potholes than other streets?

Business one-liners 04
A good scapegoat is hard to find.

A good slogan can stop analysis for fifty years.

A good solution can be successfully applied to almost any problem.

A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.

A little ambiguity never hurt anyone.

A little humility is arrogance.

A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.

A little ignorance can go a long way.

A man of quality does not fear a woman seeking equality.

A man should be greater than some of his parts.

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants.

A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to put in his mouth.

A penny saved has not been spent.

A penny saved is an economic breakthrough.

A penny saved is ridiculous.

A problem cannot be solved using the same level of thinking that created it.

A real person has two reasons for doing anything...a good reason and the real reason.

A short cut is the longest distance between two points.

A short line outside a building becomes a long line inside.

After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.

After any unit has been completely assembled, extra components will be found on the bench.

Afternoon: that part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the morning.

Aiming for the least common denominator sometimes causes division by zero.

All American cars are basically Chevrolets.

All general statements are false; think about it.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

All generalizations are useless, including this one.

All good things must come to an end, I just want to know when they start!

All great discoveries are made by mistake.