A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice...
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die."The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him."Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?""I am your guardian angel," the voice answered."Oh yeah?" the man asked..."And where were you when I got married?"

Bumpy Air Travel
A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm.
As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence
a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her and
with a nervous laugh asked, "Reverend, you're a man of God,
can't you do something about this storm?"

He looked at her and replied, "Lady, I'm in sales, not
management."