A responsible applicant
Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible." Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every timeanything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

Blind man
A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower.

"There is a blind man to see you," she says.

"Well, if he is a blind man, then it does not matter if I'm in the shower, send him in."

The blind man walks into the bathroom, and mother superior starts to tell him how much she appreciates him working at the convent for them.

She goes on and on and 10 minutes later the man interrupts, "That's nice and all, ma'am, but you can put your clothes on now. Where do you want me to put these blinds?"