A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother...
A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says,"Okay, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry."She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle.""That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?""I don't like her."

Being hurt
A husband and wife went to the fairgrounds. The wife wanted to go on the Ferris wheel, but the husband wasn't comfortable with that. So the wife went on the ride by herself.The wheel went round and round and suddenly the wife was thrown out and landed in a heap at her husband's feet."Are you hurt?" he asked."Of course I'm hurt!" she replied. "Three times around and you didn't wave once!"