A boy comes home from school and tells his mother...
A boy comes home from school and tells his mother that he got a part in the school play. "What part?" the mother asked."I play a Jewish husband," the boy replied. "Go back to school and tell your teacher that you want a speaking role!"

Can I play the piano once these are off?
A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands.

"Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?"

"I don't see why not," replies the doctor.

"That's funny," says the man. "I wasn't able to play it before."