A serious condition
A well respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line."We need a fourth for poker," said the friend."I'll be right over," whispered the doctor. As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?""Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely."In fact, three doctors are there already!"

Business one-liners 99
When all else fails, try the boss's suggestion.

When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate. When in charge, ponder.

When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue.

When in doubt, take all the time you need to get all the facts, or all the time you have, whichever is less.

When in doubt, use brute force.

When in trouble, delegate.

When it gets to be your turn, they change the rules.

When it's you against the world, bet on the world.

When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity. For every week you are away and get nothing done, there is another week when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Yuppie pregnant women don't go into labor, they go straight into management.