
Vote For Your Favorite Joke
I can't decide!
Silly Dictionary
Arbitrator ar'-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at
McDonald's.Avoidable uh-avoy'-duh-buhl: What a bullfighter tries to do.Burglarize ur'-gler-ize: What a crook sees with.Counterfeiters kown-ter-fit-ers: Workers who put together kitchen
cabinets.Eclipse i-klips': What an English barber does for a living.Eyedropper i'-drop-ur: A clumsy ophthalmologist.Heroes hee'-rhos: What a guy in a boat does.Left Bank left' bangk': What the robber did after his bag was full of
loot.Misty miss'-tee: How golfers create divots.Paradox par'-of-docks: Two physicians.Parasites par'-uh-sites: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.Pharmacist farm'-uh-sist: A helper on the farm.Polarize po'-lur-ize: What penguins see with.Primate pri'-mate: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV.Relief
ee-leaf': What trees do in the spring.Rubberneck
ub'-er-nek: What you do to relax your wife.Seamstress seem'-stress: Describes 250 pounds in a size six.Selfish sel'-fish: What the owner of a seafood store does.Subdued some-dood': Like, a guy, like, who works on one of those, like,
submarines, man.Sudafed soo'-da-fed: Bringing litigation against a government official.
Animals go to Heaven
A cat and a mouse died on the same day and went up to Heaven. At the top they met God and he asked them 'How do you like it so far?'
The mouse replied 'It's great, but can I get a pair of roller skates?' God said 'Sure', and he gave him a pair of roller skates.
The next day God saw the cat and asked him 'How do you like it up here so far?' and the cat replied 'Great, I didn't know you had meals on wheels up here!'
Latest Joke Fight Results:
- I tried to be a tailor... was a winner against A blonde detective
- If Baby Names Were Chosen Based On Parent’s Profession was a winner against A Problem of Problems
- Funny Words of Wisdom was a winner against A lawyer and an engineer
- A drunk stumbles along a Baptismal servi... was a winner against A guy was driving home one evening...
- A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven... was a winner against Bad Investment
- An Internet Christmas was a winner against A precise location
- A Man from Atlanta was a winner against A doctor is complaining to a mechanic
- A pastor in Maine skipped services one Sunday... was a winner against An Amazing Connection
- Aircraft Carrier was a winner against A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother...
- A Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a Rabbi... was a winner against A Night Before Christmas For Moms