A housewife, an accountant
A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked ''How much is 2 plus 2?''
The housewife replies: ''Four!''
The accountant says: ''I think it's either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time.''
The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice, ''How much do you want it to be?''
A missing person
Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station, along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the missing man.
The wife said, "He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."
The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5-foot 8-inches, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children."
The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"