40th Birthday
A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her 40th birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Sherry? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?"

She said, "I want a divorce."

He replied in shock, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

A really cold morning
Two men are meeting on the street."It was very cold this morning.""How cold was it?"I do not no exactly, but I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets."