Bribing the Judge
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the
opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by
both of you, with a bribe."
Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably.
"You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney
Campos, gave me $10,000." The judge reached into his pocket
and pulled out a check. He handed
it to Leon.
"Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're going to decide
this case solely on its merits.
A Short Time to Live
A man hasn't been fealing well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup.
Afterward the doctor comes out with the results.
"I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left."
"Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?"
"Ten," the doctor says sadly.
"Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!"
"Nine..."