10 Things You Never Hear in Church
1. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.

2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25
minutes over time.

3. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than
golf.

4. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used
to send to TV evangelists.

5. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior
High Sunday School class.

6. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let's pay our
pastor so he can live like we do.

7. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!

8. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.

9. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in
the Bahamas.

10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like
our annual stewardship campaign!

Tongue Twisters
Tongue Twisters

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
If a woodchuck could chuck wood?
It would chuck as much wood as it could,
And chuck as much wood
As a woodchuck would chuck
If a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,a peck of pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick;if Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,where's the peck of pickled peppers that Peter Piper picked?Peter Piper, the pickled pepper picker, picked a peck of pickled peppers,a peck of pickled peppers did Peter Piper, the pickled pepper picker pick;if Peter Piper, the pickled pepper picker, picked a peck of pickledpeppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers that Peter Piper, thepickled pepper picker, picked?
 She sells sea shells by the sea shore.The shells she sells are surely seashells.So if she sells shells on the seashore,I'm sure she sells seashore shells. Rural juror  A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.
 Sure the ship's shipshape, sir Freshly-fried flying fish. We surely shall see the sun shine soon  The big black bug's blood ran blue.

Rory the warrior and Roger the worrier were reared wrongly in a rural brewery.

Cedar shingles should be shaved and saved. Black background, brown background.