Legal Troubles
"How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles.

"My dear woman," Darrow replied, "ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that question."

I tried to be a tailor...
I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.