Bad News and Good News
Jill phoned her husband, John, at work for a chat. "I'm sorry dear," said John, "but I'm up to my neck in work today. I don't have time to chat."

Jill replied, "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you, dear."

"OK darling," said John, "but as I've got no time right now, just give me the good news."

"Okay," agreed Jill. "Well, the air bag works...bye!"

Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Proverbs ======================
A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper. All men eat, but Fu Man Chu. Crowded elevator smells different to midget. He who eats too many prunes, sits on potty many moons If you want pretty nurse, you must be patient. Man who drive like hell, bound to get there. Man who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. Man who farts in church sits in own pew. Man who fly plane upside down have crackup.Man who get hit by car,get that run down feeling
Man who gets too big for his britches may get exposed in the end.Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself.
Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion. Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement. Man who pee on electric fence receive shocking news. Man who places head in sand will get kicked in the end. Man who pushes piano down mine shaft get A flat miner.Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache.
Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who sit on tack get point. Man who sleep in bed of nails is holy. Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands. Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloon.
Man with one chopstick go hungry. Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground.