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Mothers....
A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?""Not too good,"says the mother. "I've been very weak."The son says, "Why are you so weak?"She says, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."The man says, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."

Bank customer service
"I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance ... she leaned over and pushed me."



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  • A parent's night before Christmas won 51.25% of the times
  • An attorney was sitting in his office la... won 50.26% of the times