A Lesson From Management
A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon."

Alarmed, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago."

Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?"

"Rain."

A lawyer and an engineer
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said ''I'm here 'cause my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.''

''That's quite a coincidence,'' said the engineer, ''I'm here 'cause my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything.''

The lawyer pondered the engineer's plight for a moment and, looking somewhat confused, asked, ''How do you start a flood?''