Bank customer service
"I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance ... she leaned over and pushed me."

An Unusual Prayer
Little Anne had been exceedingly naughty and during the
dinner hour she was forced to eat alone in the corner at a
card table. When everyone was seated, Father bowed his head
and gave thanks.

Then little Anne gravely bowed her head and said "Thank You
Dear Lord, for preparing a table before me in the presence of
my enemies."