An accountant is having a hard time sleeping...
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor."Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night." "Have you tried counting sheep?""That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."

QUOTES FROM ACTUAL PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS
1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock
bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this employee to breed.
3. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but
more of a definitely won't be.
4. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
5. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered
like a rat in a trap.
6. When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to
change whichever foot was previously in there.
7. He sets low personal standards and then consistently
fails to achieve them.
8. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an
idiot.
9. This employee should go far-and the sooner he starts,
the better.