A problem with teeth
This minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures were being made.

The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes.

The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.

But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.

When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way.

The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk.

The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot.

The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures... and I couldn't stop talking!

A precise location
Attorney to witness: "And where was the location of the accident?"Witness: "Approximately milepost 499."Attorney: "And where is milepost 499?"Witness: "About halfway between milepost 498 and milepost 500."