A man worries
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman
will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
A woman worries about the future until she
gets a husband. A man never worries about the
future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money
than his wife can spend. A successful woman is
one who can find such a man.
To be happy with a man you must understand
him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with
a woman you must love her a lot & not try to
understand her at all.
Married men live longer than single men, but
married men are a lot more willing to die.
Any married man should forget his mistakes-there's
no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to
bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change,
but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting
that she won't change & she does.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning
of a new one.
Can I play the piano once these are off?
A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands.
"Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?"
"I don't see why not," replies the doctor.
"That's funny," says the man. "I wasn't able to play it before."