Businessman is dying
A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated."

"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"

The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write on the envelope, "Now, you have everything."

747 Full of Lawyers
Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?

A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.