Animals go to Heaven
A cat and a mouse died on the same day and went up to Heaven. At the top they met God and he asked them 'How do you like it so far?'

The mouse replied 'It's great, but can I get a pair of roller skates?' God said 'Sure', and he gave him a pair of roller skates.

The next day God saw the cat and asked him 'How do you like it up here so far?' and the cat replied 'Great, I didn't know you had meals on wheels up here!'

Work vs. Prison
Work Vs. Prison

In prison you spend a majority of your time in an 8×10 cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6×8 cubicle.

In prison you get three meals a day. At work you only get a break for one meal, and you have to pay for that one.

In prison you get time off for good behaviour. At work you get rewarded for good behaviour with more work.

In prison, a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. At work you must carry a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.

In prison you can watch TV and play games. At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere. At work you’re just ball-and-chained.

In prison you get your own toilet. At work you have to share.

In prison they allow your family and friends to visit. At work you can’t even speak to your family and friends.

In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required. At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

In prison you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out. At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go to bars.

In prison you can join many programs which you can leave at any time. At work there are some programs you can never get out of.

In prison there are sadistic wardens. At work, we have managers.