A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet...
A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet."I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds."Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?" The woman nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.""From hunger, you mean?""No, from skipping."

An engineer, doctor, and pastor golfing
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!

Doctor: I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!

Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. [dramatic pause] Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?

George: Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.

The group was silent for a moment.

Pastor: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.

Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them.

Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?