Anniversary
A guy says, "For our Twentieth Anniversary, I'm taking my wife to Australia."

His friend says, "That's going to be tough to beat. What are you going to do for your Twenty-fifth Anniversary?"

The first guy says, "I'm going to go back and get her."

A stolen credit card
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.