An accountant is having a hard time sleeping...
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor."Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night." "Have you tried counting sheep?""That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."

Silly Dictionary
Arbitrator ar'-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at
McDonald's.

Avoidable uh-avoy'-duh-buhl: What a bullfighter tries to do.

Burglarize ur'-gler-ize: What a crook sees with.

Counterfeiters kown-ter-fit-ers: Workers who put together kitchen
cabinets.

Eclipse i-klips': What an English barber does for a living.

Eyedropper i'-drop-ur: A clumsy ophthalmologist.

Heroes hee'-rhos: What a guy in a boat does.

Left Bank left' bangk': What the robber did after his bag was full of
loot.

Misty miss'-tee: How golfers create divots.

Paradox par'-of-docks: Two physicians.

Parasites par'-uh-sites: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

Pharmacist farm'-uh-sist: A helper on the farm.

Polarize po'-lur-ize: What penguins see with.

Primate pri'-mate: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV.

Relief ee-leaf': What trees do in the spring.

Rubberneck ub'-er-nek: What you do to relax your wife.

Seamstress seem'-stress: Describes 250 pounds in a size six.

Selfish sel'-fish: What the owner of a seafood store does.

Subdued some-dood': Like, a guy, like, who works on one of those, like,
submarines, man.

Sudafed soo'-da-fed: Bringing litigation against a government official.