An old drunk stumbles into a confessional...
An old drunk stumbles into a confessional. After not hearing anything for a while the Priest knocked on the wall. The drunk said forget it buddy there's no paper in here either.

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for...
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles." "She did," he replied. "But where in the hell was I gonna finda fake Jeep?"