At the first session of a conversion class...
At the first session of a conversion class the minister conducting the class asked, "What must we do before we can expect forgiveness from sin?" After a long silence, one of the men in attendance raised his hand and said: "Sin?"

Baptism Preparations
Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young
father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are
you prepared for it?"

"I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers
and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and
cakes for all of our guests."

"I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you
prepared spiritually?"

"Oh, sure," came the reply. "I've got a keg of beer and a
case of whiskey."