A famous General dies...
The famous general died and his ashes were to be taken to
Arlington National Cemetery. All the airlines were booked
and there were no other planes available. Someone came up
with the idea of using a helicopter. It arrived at five
a.m. The newspapers reported the incident with "the whirly
bird gets the urn".

A Big Glass of Water
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says:

"Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water."

Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers:

"Jeez doc, exactly what's my problem?"

Doctor says,

"You're not drinking enough water."