Funny Signs

Funny Signs:
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At a Budapest zoo - Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan - Stop - Drive Sideways.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner - Cooles and Heates - If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

From the Soviet Weekly - There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

In a Bangkok dry cleaners - Drop your trousers here for best results.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby - The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office - We take your bags and send them in all directions.

In a hotel in Athens, Greece - Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 AM daily.

In a Japanese hotel room - Please to bathe inside the tub.

In a Paris hotel elevator - Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a Rhodes, Greece tailor shop - Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

In a Swiss mountain inn - Special today -- no ice cream.

In a Tokyo Hotel - Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In a Tokyo shop - Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.

In an Acapulco hotel - The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist - Teeth extrcted by the latest Methodists.

In an East African newspaper - A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

In the window of a Swedish furrier - Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant - Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop - Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

Sign from a Majorcan shop entrance - English well talking

A prisoner with skills
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time. After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community.... and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.

The warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and in fact had done much of the work himself. But he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large counter top which he had promised his wife. So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job for him.

But, alas, Andy refused. He told the warden, "Gosh, I'd really like to help you but counter fitting is what got me into prison in the first place".