Business one-liners 99
When all else fails, try the boss's suggestion.

When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate. When in charge, ponder.

When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue.

When in doubt, take all the time you need to get all the facts, or all the time you have, whichever is less.

When in doubt, use brute force.

When in trouble, delegate.

When it gets to be your turn, they change the rules.

When it's you against the world, bet on the world.

When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity. For every week you are away and get nothing done, there is another week when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Yuppie pregnant women don't go into labor, they go straight into management.

Bulls Survive Tornado
There was a farmer who had a lot of live stock. He had
cows, horses, chickens, pigs, and bulls. One day a terrible
twister came and the man and his family were only saved by
throwing themselves in the nearest ditch. After it was all
over, he looked up to see that the house was gone. Saddened
by the loss, he went out to see if any of the animals had
survived. The horses, chickens, pigs, and cows were laid out
flat but the bulls were standing! The farmer was amazed and
asked them, "How is it that all the other animals are down
and you are still standing?" The bulls replied, "We bulls
wobble but we don't fall down!"