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10 Things You Never Hear in Church
1. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.

2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25
minutes over time.

3. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than
golf.

4. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used
to send to TV evangelists.

5. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior
High Sunday School class.

6. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let's pay our
pastor so he can live like we do.

7. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!

8. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.

9. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in
the Bahamas.

10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like
our annual stewardship campaign!

A wife was berating her husband...
A wife was berating her husband. He motioned for her to quiet down saying, "Don't unleash the beast in me."The wife snickered and replied, "Unlike a lot of women, 'dear', I'm not the least bit afraid of a mouse."

Latest Joke Fight Results:

• A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for... was a winner against 2 Mexicans
• Bad computer viruses was a winner against
• Business one-liners 08 was a winner against An old occupation
• Bad Couch Trip was a winner against A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man...
• Funny News Headlines was a winner against A really cold morning
• Ape Reading List was a winner against A lawyer's dog, running about
• And Jesus said unto his disciples... was a winner against A lawyer's dog, running about
• Can I play the piano once these are off? was a winner against An old occupation
• I tried to be a tailor... was a winner against A serious condition
• A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop... was a winner against A sailor goes to a cementary