Bank customer service
"I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance ... she leaned over and pushed me."

A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel...
A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel,and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse."But why?", they asked, as they moved off."Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."