A minister, a priest, and a rabbi were s...
A minister, a priest, and a rabbi were sitting around a dinner table, having after-dinner coffee and arguing about religion. Suddenly, the Angel of the Lord appears and says, "I will grant one wish to each of you!"
The minister jumps to his feet and shouts, "I wish for the destruction of all Catholics!"

Then the priest jumps to his feet and shouts, "Well, I wish for the destruction of all Protestants!"

The angel turns to the rabbi and says, "What do you wish for, rabbi?"

And the rabbi says, "Well, if you're going to grant their wishes, then I'll just have another cup of coffee!"

Airplane Trouble
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.

A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards."