A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother...
A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says,"Okay, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry."She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle.""That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?""I don't like her."

A man in the army asks for a pass
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the
Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.

The CO says "Are you crazy? You just joined the
Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass?
You must do something spectacular for that
recognition!"

So the soldier comes back a day later in an
Arab tank!

The CO was so impressed, he asked, "How
did you do it?"

"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the
border with the Arabs. I approached the border,
and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up,
the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the
Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a 3-day pass?
So we exchanged tanks!"