Dumb.com >> Jokefight
Vote For Your Favorite Joke

I can't decide!

Business one-liners 61
I knocked several times, but you weren't in. - Opportunity

I once worked as a salesman and was very independent; I took orders from no one.

I think we should really add to the confusion... Let's call in (Insert Your Favorite Group - Engineering/Financial...)

I think...therefore I am confused.

I will get it done when I get it done!

I would give $1000 to be a millionaire.

I've got to stop getting fired like this. People will start to think I'm a drifter. - Lee Iacocca

If a listener nods his head when you're explaining your program, wake him up.

If a man advances confidently in the direction of his dreams to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. - Henry David Thoreau

If a program is useful it will be changed, if it is useless, it will be documented.


Bosses versus workers
When I take a long time, I am slow.
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.

When I don't do it, I am lazy.
When my boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When I do it without being told, I'm trying to be smart.
When my boss does the same, that is initiative.

When I please my boss, that's brown-nosing.
When my boss pleases his boss, that's co-operating.

When I do good, my boss never remembers.
When I do wrong, he never forgets.




Latest Joke Fight Results:

  • Give a man a fish was a winner against Silly Puns
  • An Evil Curse was a winner against A woman reported the disappearance of her husband...
  • An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends... was a winner against A defendant was on trial for murder. The...
  • A dog for a wife was a winner against Bungee Jumping In Mexico
  • A Dictionary for Women was a winner against A man with a pegleg, hook hand and...
  • An artist asked the gallery owner if the... was a winner against 100 Reasons To Party
  • 3 Docs at heavans gate! was a winner against 3 Hunters in the Woods
  • Baseball heaven was a winner against Big Man in a Small Town
  • An honest lawyer was a winner against An engineer, doctor, and pastor golfing
  • 3 Hunters in the Woods was a winner against A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop...