Automotive horror
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!"

"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

Blind Justice
A young boy asked is father, "Dad, do lawyers ever tell the truth?"

The father thought for a moment, "Yes son, sometimes a lawyer will do anything to win a case!"